How Militant Am I? Not Half What I'd Like To Be.

One of my online buddies, Dave Warwak, is the most militant ARA I've ever met. He'll tell you straight-out what he thinks of you. He won't sugarcoat it, he won't pussyfoot, he won't even be nice about it. If you eat meat, that makes you a murderer. Here is an article he wrote explaining how we, as vegans and ARAs, must be more militant about the movement. Now that it's been immortalized on my blog, here's how I feel about it.

I wish I had balls as big as his. Dave is whiter than me, older than me, straighter than me (I think), and male-er than me. And I'm sure he's taller and stronger and has a deeper voice too. He's also more educated. The reason I'm pointing this stuff out is because I personally think that these characteristics essentially make a person more confident in today's society. Face it, a tall white guy will be heard way before a short black female would. Most would brush her statement off as PMS or femm-nazi propaganda or "black powah" crap. It's very unfair and it really pisses me off sometimes.

But this is what I'm striving for. To be confident enough to call corpse-munchers out on their bullshit. David writes:

"Corpse-munchers don’t care about their own children’s health or wellbeing, let alone their own bodies, and have no intention of changing no matter how fucking cool we think we are. These same corpse-munching losers desperately want our approval though and can’t stand the notion that they are responsible for murder."

And this is so true! 99% of the time I tell a corpse-muncher I am a vegan, the first thing they say (after asking what a vegan is, for some of them) is "Well, I eat meat." Then they'll make a SEVEN HOUR LONG SPEECH about how they eat meat, and they try not to do it too much, and they only by it from the farmer's market, and only free-range, and not veal (because that would be mean), and only cage-free, and blah blah blah. I really hate when they do this, partly because I have to stand there and just say nothing. What the hell am I supposed to say to that? "Good for you"? I don't think so. They just keep talking and I just keep wanting them to shut the fuck up. I feel embarrassed for them when they do that. And why the hell do they want my approval? Why do they care what I think?

Oh, wait. I know why.

Let me explain.

Just about everyone wants to believe they are a good person. It's kind of like when those Christian fundies ask them if they've ever told a lie. Then you'll hear them go, "Well, yes but, I mean, I don't know, I'm still a good person, right?" Of course, when I'm asked this, I just tell them that I lie all the time and I don't care what their imaginary god thinks about it. But believers will get nervous with that confrontation because all of a sudden, BAM! They realize they might not be the saint they think themself to be.
The same happens when learning about animal cruelty. Before I went vegan, I saw the movie Earthlings and it happened. I realized I was a shitty person for financing such fucked up shit. So I stopped. I didn't make excuses. I didn't go the "free-range" route. I stopped all the way. And I really don't know why others can't do the same. There's nothing particularly special about me. I'm just an average American who wants what she wants and tries to get by. I'm not even that smart. I have a GED! I really don't get how someone can know about this and not change.

So, when someone who refuses to change is confronted by someone who did, they feel they owe an explanation. Sorry people, there are no explanations or excuses for not going vegan. I heard every lame excuse the first week of my veganism. That's how common they are.

And there's no reason I have to be a passive, love-filled, smiling, Mary fucking Sunshine vegan. That's not me. I will tell it like it is. You might think you're a good person, and that you would never hurt anyone. But when you ate your last steak, a cow died slowly and painfully for it.

You can hide your shame behind a cheap joke ("meat is murder, tasty tasty murder") if that will allow you to ignore the truth for a minute. Joking about something is one way to cope with it, and you're coping with the fact that you're a murderer.

You can rationalize it by listening to the "circle of life" song from The Lion King.

You can use an ancient mythology book to give yourself permission for it.

You can use made-up biology to convince yourself that you actually need to commit murder or else you'll die, despite the fact that vegans live longer and healthier lives than non-vegans.

Or when those excuses have grown old, you can try the more desperate approach and waste your brain cells considering hypotheticals.

But I know the real reason you kill animals for food. You like the way it tastes. That's all. That's the only reason: GREED.

So while I might not have the balls just yet to say exactly how I feel, at least I have your balls in my hands. Because face it corpse-munchers, you want me to approve of your barbaric lifestyle. You want a pat on the back from the enlightened vegan and you want me to say, "Well, at least you're trying" or "It's better than nothing" or the oh-so-famous "It's your life. Live it however you want."

I'll say that to you when you can say that to the animals you murder for your taste buds.

I love PETA, but goddamn, they are slow.

Okay, so I have a KFC protest scheduled for this Friday, and I've told PETA about this weeks ago and they said they'd send me materials. By the way, let me just say that I donate a fairly good chunk of cash to PETA every year. I'm not going to say how much, but it's more than the $16 membership fee. I'm not saying they should kiss my ass about it, but I want to make it clear that I'm not a member simply for the free shit.

So it's been about four weeks now, and the protest is right around the corner, and still no materials. Only three days left. I have about a dozen people lined up for this protest. Hmmm, what to do about this? I have no idea.

"What made you become a vegan?"

I get this question all the time. The second someone hears that I don't consume meat or dairy, I'm waiting for it: "What made you decide to do that?"

But what do I say? Through my experience with omnivores, pointing out that I don't wish to contribute to the suffering of animals usually throws them on the defensive. They get all huffy, as if my intention was to attack them personally. Then the conversation goes nowhere because they are too busy muttering to themself about how much of a cunt I am for hitting them with the ugly truth that they, in fact, finance the cruelty business.

But that's not entirely the truth. Well, that is the truth, but not the truthful answer to that question. That answer would fit the question "Why are you a vegan now?" But what made me become a vegan is another story.

This is my YouTube channel. I've been making videos for about a year and a half and have met many interesting people. One of the most interesting of all is someone whom has since become one of my closest internet friends. He goes by the name Dendrophilian, which is the scientific term for "treehumper". His videos and his way of thinking are definitely on the controversial side, which is something people tend to hate about me. But he lives in Norway. I've never been there, but I don't know if Norweigans even view what he says as controversial. They sure as hell do here.

In one of his videos he mentioned that he was a vegan. He didn't go into it, as the video he was making was supposed to be comical and a stab at organized religion, specifically Christianity. If you want to see it, here it is. But the "vegan" word kind of followed me around for a few months. I thought it was just a word, not something people actually did. Eventually I caught up with him in a chat and I asked him about it.

The first thing I learned about it was the inefficient way cows feed us. A cow has to consume ten to sixteen pounds of plant-based food to produce ONE pound of edible flesh. How wasteful is that??? Shit, that means you could feed sixteen times the amount of people if you just cut out the middle man, so to speak. With all the hungry people on the planet, who the fuck am I to be so wasteful? Just learning that made me want to go vegan on the spot. So I did. And as time went on, I learned more. And the more I learned, the more I knew I made the right choice.

I've always adapted well to change. So maybe going vegan was easier for me than it is for other people. But one thing about veganism that makes it amazing (in my opinion) is that there are dozens of reasons to be vegan. I mean it. There are literally dozens. But let's just say for a second that there is only ONE reason. It can be any of the dozens. I can randomly pick one of those reasons out and say "If this reason was the only reason to go vegan, it's still way better than all the reasons not to."